10. I do not see plays because I can nap at home for free. And I don't see movies 'cause they're trash, and they got nothin' but naked people in 'em! And I don't read books, 'cause if they're any good, they're gonna make 'em into a miniseries.
9. He is a boil on the butt of humanity!
8. Don't try to get on my good side, Truvy. I no longer have one!
7. I'm not as sweet as I used to be! (Isn't that the truth!)
6. You are a pig from hell.
5. This is it, I've found it. I'm in hell.
4. I'm pleasant. Damn it! I saw Drum Eatenton at the Piggly Wiggly this morning, and I smiled at the son of a bitch 'fore I could help myself.
3. My god, you look different. Have you shrunk?
2. The only reason people are nice to me is because I have more money than God.
1. I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 40 years! ( I think I'll have to use this line in a few years!)
Now that you have laughed and are smiling, go have a great weekend!